Reviews by LazyPaco

All reviews - Movies (8) - TV Shows (9) - Books (2) - Games (2)

Thundercrap. A Marvel lie

Posted : 2 weeks, 4 days ago on 28 January 2026 02:53 (A review of Thunderbolts*)

Why is Yelena working for Valentina when she lied to her about Clint killing Natasha? That's a pretty big lie. You'd expect her to get her revenge or go work for someone else, but this movie doesn't want you to remember Black Widow or Hawkeye because that would get in the way of rewriting these characters however they want to make the plot they want. And to be fair, nobody remembers Black Widow anyway so... Still, this isn't a good start.

Marvel fans lied to me. The movie isn't good. Now, it does have a decent mental illness theme, and it explores it a little with Yelena and Bob, and then with no one else, because... I don't know, screw them, I guess. Not everyone can have character!! No, that would require a lot of effort, and we don't do that here. There are flashes, like with Walker and Valentina, but flashes aren't exploration.

And when it does explore it, it's mostly superficial, but at least there's something. With Yelena, I accept it; hers is regular depression, is external, once those issues are no longer there, she is happier. Having company and a new, more fulfilling purpose is enough. But Bob's case seems clinical, more internal, and those are different types of depression, in addition to his other more obvious conditions like trauma, bipolar disorder and substance abuse. The Void decently embodies what depression feels like, but he's not going to be defeated so easily by the acceptance of people he's just met on a big hug. It needs more. I like the idea, and superficially I like the scene, the problem is that, as I said, he's just met them. The film could have benefited from more time with them connecting so that the moment feels more believable. Because depression would have kept telling him that no matter what they say, it's not true, they're making fun of him, they don't even know him, they know nothing, it's impossible for anyone to love him no matter what he does, etc. It would have taken more effort than what we see, even with people he's known for longer. And to top it all off, in the end, he forgets everything, so... screw it.

Simply mentioning mental illness isn't the same as exploring it well.

So, the core of the movie, the thing everyone's praising like it's Buffy season six, is mediocre at best. It works with Yelena, it only works in principle with Bob, and with the rest, it doesn't matter because they DON'T matter. This is Yelena and Bob's movie, but it's called Thunderbolts, it's supposed to be an ensemble film, and it fails miserably at that. But hey, at least there are jokes between them. That's enough, right?

Beyond that, the rest is pure crap. Valentina and her people are a bunch of incompetent idiots. I love how Walker even points this out by mentioning that the helicopters searching for them are flying too high, which is inefficient. Cool. Why the FUCK are they doing it then!? Are we supposed to ignore how retarded it is just because the movie is kind of acknowledging it? Then they send in a three-car convoy after them. Brilliant! Even without Bucky's intervention, they could have won. And they got a car to escape in the first place because Alexi conveniently overheard Valentina talking since he became her chauffeur (for some fucking reason) at the worst possible moment, and she doesn't keep secret conversations secret. WTF Lazy bloody writers! And he gets there pretty fast when he's driving from far away.

All of this allows them to escape the chase, and it is bad writing.

You know what else is bad writing? How they escape before they can escape the second time. I know, I'm reviewing it backwards; it's funnier this way. So, Valentina sends them all off hoping they'll kill each other. Walker, a professional soldier; Yelena, a super professional spy; Taskmaster, the same; and Ghost, who is… something, I don't know, I don't remember. A group of people you wouldn't expect to be so stupid as to not immediately realize that none of it makes any fucking sense. Especially Yelena, who already knows Valentina does this kind of thing. Eventually, they figure it out, a little too late to save Taskmaster's life, but they do. Hooray!! Poor Taskmaster, she had a shitty life. What a weird character. And Yelena, who knows what kind of shitty life she's had, doesn't give a damn that she's dead. Seriously, they didn't watched Black Widow XD

Valentina watches as her plan fails, and is surprised by this. She didn't realize that they were just idiots instead of complete idiots. I don't know why she hired them if she thought they were so stupid as to kill each other without noticing anything strange. Oh well. She's not worried, because she has a contingency plan. She's going to burn them all immediate… oh no, she gives them two minutes. And she puts the countdown right there so they can see. Cool. Valentina is generous.

She could have killed them with a lethal gas and then incinerated them, she could have electrocuted them with a massive shock and then incinerated them. Or she could have made them laugh until they cried by showing them her best moments on Veep, and then incinerated them… and then made them explode. And then buried them deep. Or poisoned them before all of this. The point is, she had many options and chose the stupidest one because writing is hard. Just a word of advice if you want to be a writer. Your first idea is probably crap. Think a little more.

And to top it all off, they can only escape because the power source for the barrier preventing Ghost from leaving is in the SAME damn room as them. LOL. Who the hell wrote this? Is this the movie everyone keeps praising? Holy cow. And how did Bob end up there? If they thought he was dead, why didn't they bury or cremate him instead of sending him there? WTF. Nothing makes any fucking sense. The movie is super lame, it's purely artificial, and that sucks.

So… yeah. It wasn't good X2. And that's all from me. It's not like there aren't more idiotic mistakes, like the government not investigating the explosion Bob caused and arresting Valentina, or how much they let her do instead of putting her under house arrest or something, they're accusing her of awful things. Or how Walker doesn't kill Yelena with his first punch.

Anyway, I'm too lazy to continue.

I'll leave you with the shitty ending of the movie, the ending where they decide not to send Valentina to jail and let her go free after she's committed so many atrocious crimes. Bucky, dude, seriously? Is this the first act of your new Avengers? Who thought this was a good idea? What a great team, 3 super-soldiers. Creative. Fuck the ending.

3/10 The script is a disaster, but at least the Void looks cool.

That's all.

Alaoz!

PD: This title was way to harsh XD "If you think this is good you are mentally ill". All the good titles were to offensive or long.

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You might be wrong about Spinel.

Posted : 1 year, 4 months ago on 10 October 2024 05:01 (A review of Spinel)

If you think Spinel changed because of a song, either you didn’t pay attention or you are to stupid to live without a legal guardian. That’s not the real reason, is part of it, it helped, but she changes because of self-reflection. She realizes what she has become, the complete opposite of a friend, the thing that she was made to be, the thing that she wants to be. This is all said very explicitly. No idea how can you miss it.

The songs helped, but less stop pretending that the songs are meaningless or something, they have arguments in them, they are just a more fun way to present a therapeutic conversation. Only Spinel could change the way that she was feeling, and just because it hurts now, that doesn’t mean that she would not love again. If a therapist would have said that you probably would not have a problem with it. But because is in a song that makes it silly. Did you forgot what show this was?

Spinel is mentally fucked because of the betrayal and knowing she was never loved. She is not just evil. She is in pain, blinded by it. Takes it to fucking far, yeah, but you know, fucking cartoon show. It would have been much better without it, tho xD

The injector thing was forced by producers apparently, but the idea still kind of works because it would have destroyed the planet that Pink loved, another target of her hatred. Still, better without it. At least she did not kill anybody so… it could have been worse.

The ending of the movie is shit because is a bad message. Replacement is part of the process of healing, but it should never be shown to be the end of it. Steven and the rest are better suited to show her real friendship, which was the original purpose of the film. She is not damaged by the ending, is just lacking.

Also, she needed to properly make amends for her actions, even if she wasn’t thinking straight. That’s bad too, but, she is an alien and kind of childish mentally. Is not crazy that she does not completely understand. Future could have help, but is almost entirely focus on Steven.

Spinel is a decent character, nothing amazing, but she works. She is probably the best antagonist of the whole thing. And an excellent message. Do not abandon people in a cruel way, alright? Assholes do this to their dogs. Is fucked!

Anyway.

That’s it.

Alaoz!

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Furiosa is her birth name? Da hell?

Posted : 1 year, 7 months ago on 9 July 2024 01:21 (A review of Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga)

Is alright. A bit disappointing if you were expecting the film to add anything to her character. She mostly the same thing from beginning to end. Nothing really worthwhile. So it feels kinda pointless as a addition.

I think is a failure that Hemsworth character is so much more interesting than her and that he moves the entire plot. He's fun and has big ambitions and desires, and she just wants to go back home and get revenge. Is kinda... meh. Is only a 6 because of him. Even if he was really stupid by killing the mum. I don't know why they did that. You could make it work by making both of them be totally fine with dying because the duty of protecting the Oasis is so important. And when Dementus sees that, he kills the mum as payback for his men and keeps the girl.

Back to Furiosa. I was expecting to see a progression in her life, from somebody who maybe had knowledge of the world outside because of her training, but then being thrust into this world and feeling the palpable difference between theory and reality, she finds herself not adequately prepare for it, she is a child after all. And then she learns to be better with time, learns to survive, but we skip most of that or flat out refused to do any of it. She was a badass since birth. There is no real development, we just jump to the fun points.

I was at least hoping that Furiosa was a name she earned by being a boss or something, her personality on the battlefield and shit, but no. She was just fucking born with it, I guess. Or maybe not, who knows? Feels like most girls in that place will be like that.

EDIT after rewatching Fury Road: Oh, it was established already. That was always her name. Well, fuck me.

Maybe a focus in the romance would have work. I mean, is not like she needs any more reasons to want revenge, he already killed her mum, so I don't really see the point of even having the guy. But since you decided to include love, do something with it. Instead we barely scratch the surface, so I don't care about the guy, cause he wasn't around much time.

Maybe give her a relationship with the wives and how she sees that treatment, that life, and her fear of it, her compassion, and then her desire to help them, her friends, part of womankind and stuff. You know, something fucking human in all this craziness. The fight of decency vs darwinism. But FINE, fuck it, is just an action film. I'm just saying, it had the potential for more.

EDIT after rewatching Fury Road: Is even worse now, because she mentions wanting redemption. So why not see her making decisions in her work as Imperator, which she does to survive, and feeling remorse over it? Fucking hell. What a disappointing film.

Feels kinda weird giving it a 6 when I mostly complain about it, but that's life. It was entertaining, it was fun, I didn't feel it too long. Is a nice watch.

I'm out.

Alaoz!

PS: Was casting Anya a good idea? I mean. She does not look anything like Charlize, in fact, Anya does not look like anybody in the history of mankind...

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The B Files.

Posted : 1 year, 7 months ago on 7 July 2024 12:07 (A review of The X Files)

Because they are bad.

Hey, unless I didn’t use the S word.

Now, is not all bad. I mean, there are like… 7 good episodes… I’m kidding!! More like 9.

A lot of them are weird stuff that is never explained. I don’t like that. Once in a while, yeah is cool, but it is a lot of them, a lot of the time, and they are lazy as well. Feels really easy to write a X Files case. Just make up some strange stuff and then don’t explain it. Mulder cracks a few jokes, suggest some crazy theory, Scully does an autopsy, rolls her eyes, calls him a retard, he is right, and you’re free to go.

Some of them are good, some are alright, some are bad, some are shit. You know the drill with episodic shows. I don’t really have strong feelings about those, they are not really my problem. No, is the amazing lack of continuity and stagnation. Like, they never talk about stuff. Scully doesn't believe in any alien stuff or the conspiracy to cover it up, even when she saw alien bacteria or whatever and it was silenced, and at the end of season one she holds an alien in her hands, Mulder got kidnapped and beat up for it, and a dude died, but they never mention it again. Which leads me to…

First problem: The Dynamic; Scully.

Chris really likes to milk the “I believe and I don’t believe” dynamic. It gets really old, real fast, man. Because of this milking, Scully’s character gets hurt. For the first six seasons or so, she reboots every episode. She sees some wild shit, seems like maybe she might open her horizons, but by the next episode, is like nothing ever really happened. And for all intents and purposes, might as well nothing had happened, because there’s almost never an acknowledgement of it. Like she was never there. Mulder suggest something, and she alright cuts him and refuses what he is saying by basically going: “Poppycock, Mulder, poppycock”. What? She lives in London, she probably talks like that all the time.

She is very condescending as well when she does it. Like it is so stupid and nonsensical, when she has seen worse shit.

They were only TWO moments in the whole nine original seasons, when Mulder does what I was doing constantly, and the first time is a very subtle one. He says in that one: “And how many times have I been wrong?” when being question by her about a supernatural or weird explanation for something. The second one is clearer and more like I was saying all the time. “Well, what about that one time?”

She sees some WILD shit, seems to accept it because is really hard not to, and then, episodes later, Mulder suggest something similar that is way less weird and she goes “Poppycock”. Like, bitch, you seem weirder stuff. What you mean that’s crazy?

It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t so harsh about it. So definitive. “Alright, man, is probably not that, but lest go ahead”. Something like that. Because, indeed, Mulder is wrong sometimes. And of course, I don’t expect her to believe in something just cause something else under the same broad umbrella has happened, without evidence and stuff, but a lot of them are linked together, cut of the same cloth. And her first response is always to find it really stupid when she has witness them before.

You know what’s wild? When Reyes says she felt evil, and she responds by going: “I felt something like that before”. WHAT? You met the fucking devil. You talked to him, you saw him, he attacked you. Da fuck you mean you felt?

Is like she has Alzheimer’s or something. I’m telling you, she fucking reboots. She is the “rational one”, but she is being irrational by still trying to be so rational in the face of all this crazy shit. She’s met mutants, demons, angels, ghost, mythical creatures, a hot genie, visitors from other dimensions, a fucking yoda looking alien and STILL you can go: “I saw a cat with wings”. And she will go: “Poppycock”.

When Doggett gets introduced, Chris actually tries to find a reason as to why somebody could be so fucking obtuse. And you can actually see him be afraid of believing, at the beginning at least. Eventually he becomes like Scully was, calling everybody a retard. I mean, Scully had her reasons, but, not really. She was just being force to be what Chris wanted. Maybe she was afraid sometimes, but most of the time, she just thought it was all poppycock.

Chris likes to milk that shit so much that when she changed, he had to bring somebody else to do the same boring part. And I don’t believe she changed as a progression of her character, but because Doggett was coming and you can’t have two motherfuckers doing the same shtick.

The two never talk about the stuff they see, it doesn’t affect their worldviews that much, the way the look and think. Scully doesn’t wander why none of that shit is on the bible. In fact, all religions are based on alien stuff, apparently, so... Does that test her faith?

Problem 2: Forgotten ideas and genres not coexisting well.

This is more personal, I guess.

Like two demons threaten Scully and Mulder… and nothing happens. Lucifer himself did that with Scully and fuck all happened. “The demon knows you now”. Cool story, bro.

I don’t think futuristic alien technology works well with supernatural and demonic elements. I mean, is really funny to think about a final battle for supremacy between little gray man on flying saucers and actual biblical demons. Sci-fi and supernatural stuff feel so opposed to each other that I can’t really see them working well together. But I mean, is really personal, I guess, that is what a lot of people believe the real world is so… Don’t mind me. To me the idea of kicking down the door with a plasma gun and shooting the girl in the Exorcist feels very silly, but maybe others don’t. Maybe you would do that if in fact the power of God does not compel.

The way the X Files makes it work is by never having them interact with each other, which is basically not making them work together, so…
For that reason, a demon can threaten Mulder, and he still only cares about government conspiracies and aliens. You will think he would try to find shit about it to protect himself, but since the show only really cares about the alien and government stuff, it makes the world not feel alive and very much a jumbled mess.

If only they had a secondary overarching plotline with the demons, it might have work, but no. Demons do very petty shit and then they go away, happy to be able to get away with it. While the aliens are trying to replace humanity and conquer the earth or some shit. The demons are staying behind, mate. They are not sending us their best...

Either you have supernatural stuff and Lovecraftian aliens, or futuristic aliens with mutants and cyborgs and stuff, because you are probably not going to be able to do both well in tone, and is gonna go real bad.

There’s more, because a lot of the stuff that gets established in the cases, would change how the world works, but there is never any repercussion or consequences from them. Remember the genie? More on that in the next part.

Problem 3. The overarching alien plotline and Mulder’s sister.

This is the hard part because I stop caring about those plots in season 3 or about. Especially the sister one. I barely have anything to say. She is first abducted by aliens, then she was here all along, then no she is a clone, then it was the government, or she was killed by a serial killer and then her soul went to space heaven or something. I honestly loosed track. It keeps getting rewriting and it is annoying.

Is sad because the canon final story is good, but I just did not give a shit anymore. If it was all done in one season arc, then cool, but it is stretch for so long that is hard to care, man. Unlike Doggetts son, that gets resolved much faster, if only because they got cancelled, was much more satisfying.

About the aliens, well… Is just as stupid as it is in real life. Super advance aliens crashing on the planet, getting shoot down by human weapons, kidnapping humans for dumb reasons, needing to sneak like little bitches, trusting humans to do stuff despite reading minds and shit. Is all just very dumb. They do try to come up with a reason why they would crash in the last episodes of the original run, but it comes really late and still doesn’t really work. The super soldier needed to be very close to it, so a spaceship would have to be flying really low, so no much of a crash, and even then, they would learn how to avoid them, no? They don't have emergency brakes?

And again, I mention the lack of worldbuilding and consequences. Why not clone that dude that can literally bend reality with his imagination? An army of him might win you the war, buddy. Use the evil kid too. Why not? The genie anyone? She worked with presidents. The government has no idea? “I wish for an alien cure… no, eradicate the aliens”. She can do that!

What about the two AI's?

Why is the Smoking Man fucking inmortal?

I sincerely do not like this show at all. I enjoy it 30% of the time. The revival is absolute crap as well, three decent episodes, and two of them are comedy, so… Specially cause Chris decided to reinvent the wheel again and apparently all 9 previous seasons are a lie. Da hell?

They really dragged Monica’s character through the mud, huh?

The only good thing they did in the overall was to change a bit the relationship between them. They were already fucking in the original show, but they still talked to each other like always. You don't behave like that with the person you fucking. It was weird.

Look, I can't point every problem I saw, there are a lot of episodes and I forget. I could write for days in here, man. I decided too late to write this review.

Scully is a bad catholic, by the way.

Anyway.

Ice and Darkness Falls are great. Vince Gilligan episodes are usually good. Chris Carter episodes sometimes are. There is good in here, of course I was kidding when I said only 9, is more than that, like, 13. It is mostly bad tho. A lot of the episodes are forgettable and the overarching plots are an unnecessary complex mess. Fuck em. Is carried by decent leads, charismatic actors and not much else.

I’m going to bed now. Fringe is way better.

PS1: Simpsons crossover was god tier.

PS2: Why does Terry O'Quinn have like 3 different characters? WTF?
I’m surprised he is not on the revival too.

He’s on fucking Millenium as well? Jesus!

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NANANANANANANANA BATMAN!

Posted : 1 year, 7 months ago on 28 June 2024 05:25 (A review of Nana)

Minimal spoilers, practically non-existent.

NANA is…pretty good. It's not my kind of story to watch for that long, slice of life stories with a focus on romance don't tend to interest me much most of the time, unless they're funny, have an important theme or have something special enough, and NANA has that.

Let me tell you something first: I dislike the drawing of the characters, I dislike the “anime faces” they sometimes make that are very cartoonish, the overreactions, and I dislike the voice of Nana Komatsu, or Hachi, in Japanese, because it is shrill and I have sensitive ears. All of that would easily take me out of this anime and make me run into a lava pit and yet, I didn't.

I can see past all that, and that's because it's so damn well written. It's not the most impressive, but it manages to create believable characters with flaws and conflicts, which makes me connect with what's happening, even though the visuals don't help me at all.

Now, NANA has a very extensive cast of characters, and of course, the two protagonists are the winners of the big, fat, veiny prize, but the vast majority of the secondary characters are quite solid and three-dimensional in a way that gives life to the world.

A fault of the series is that it does not focus enough on them, I think they could have given a little more, but is not like they were abandoned. Everyone has their moment to shine and even if you don't care for their stories, you have to admit that they work. But like I said, a little more wouldn’t hurt. Like Ren and his addiction to… I'm not sure what, and Shin and Reira. Because if that relationship doesn't work, Shin's supposed problem that the relationship was fixing is never resolved.

The two protagonists are complicated, they are the ones who have the most flaws, the selfish ones (whether consciously or unconsciously) who must mature, and both have friends who are already mature, who give them advice and who sacrifice themselves for the good of the rest, something they must learn the hard way. They never get rid of these primordial personality flaws, but they learn to recognize, manage and understand them, although the bad practices and desires never leaves them.

Did I mention they were complex?

Komatsu is the girly one, the overly emotional one, the one who falls in love easily and is naive, but she matures as the series progresses, she questions herself, she hates herself, and in the end, she makes the difficult decision, the executive decision, the pimp decision, and must deal with the consequences of said decisions, and of her flaws. She is a person who does not fully understand herself, she is somewhat stupid and continues to search tirelessly for what she really wants, and what she needs.

Osaki is the more rebellious, the cool one, the one with the dark side that I wish we had seen a little more of. She acts as a calculating villain a couple of times, and that was fun. But the same thing happens with her, she improves as a person, she questions herself, she tries to accept the decisions of others, but she is someone who is difficult and very selfish and, like Komatsu, wants everything for herself and doesn't quite understand what she really wants.

They are in their twenties, it is understandable. They are good characters, very human and slaves of passion. But aren't we all? Except me, of course, am chemically castrated… Don't ask.

I want to give a special mention to Takumi. Because at the beginning I thought that there were two paths in which the series was going to go, either making him the stereotype of the womanizing Rockstar, or the counter-stereotype of the misunderstood. Yes, it's anime, I didn't trust it.
Luckily, they took the best path, the superior one, the one that has nuances on the track. They put him sort of in the middle of both things, in addition to giving him a more Machiavellian and upright personality. He is an organized, determined and responsible guy. He is quite good, deeper than he initially seems. It was a pleasant surprise.

Something that helps a lot is that the series has the advantage that many audiovisual series lack and that books do have: internal monologues. I've never understood that criticism that it doesn't feel right or that it's weird, blah blah. I have seen some series and movies that have some narration and internal monologue and I have never felt that problem. Damn, Fleabag is a series where the protagonist speaks directly to you and I still enjoyed it. It's a stupid complaint, and it makes me angry... Anyway. A lot of animes have that, and I wish it was more common in other things.

Internal monologues are very good for empathizing with the character, to understand them better, it shows us their doubts and self-reflections in a cruder way, more difficult to ignore, it puts you in their position, in the reasoning process. It is an important experience of what it means to be human and I consider it something vital. NANA uses it very competently.
Also, NANA is divided into two parts, each one focused more on each Nana, from their point of view, with their own narratives full of personality that rounds them out as complex and human characters.
It makes it stand out among so many other slices of life with boring formats.
So much style!

These narratives add a mystery that intrigues you. I thought damn Osaki was dead or something. They make you think: What? What happened? I need to know!

Of course, it's not all dancing titties in NANA. What I've talked about is mostly good things with a few flaws, but the following is a complete flaw. It's a waste of a narrative and stylistic tool. My biggest disappointment was the songs in universe, because there are only two of them. I myself have a couple of characters who are musicians, and I write songs to reflect something that they or people close to them are experiencing in the story, is a different way of presenting the theme, in a poetic way and full of emotion.

But there is very little of that in NANA. Osaki doesn't write anything despite how important what is happening is to her. More than just a message on TV one time, she could have written a song for Hachi, where she subtly tells her what she's going to do and what she means to her.
Ren and Reira probably should have made a pair. We spent an entire chapter with Reira and her difficulty with writing something, but in the end, we barely listened to her and it didn't have much to do with what was happening or what was most important to her. Then Ren's idea of making real art and not just to keep selling was never touched upon. We didn't explore that side of the series much, the importance of art and music.
It's strange considering how important it is to the series.

Well, that's my biggest complaint.

In the end, there are certain plot lines that feel incomplete, that are incomplete, but also more or less work as is. The reason is that the manga was not complete, and they preferred to leave it until then than try to finish it themselves. Which is something they could easily do, because the reason they more or less work as they are, is that you see where most of them are going to end up.
The thing about Nana and Ren seems kind of difficult, and from what I saw happen in the manga I don't like the idea, but I would have to see the execution to judge.

And the ending of the series is the most screwed up, because it seems that Osaki disappeared, and I don't understand why, and it's a very strong question that maybe they shouldn't have asked if they weren't planning to answer it. The series could have easily ended without the time jump.
That's all. I don't like to extend myself much into things that I like, I like to say something as a recommendation and explain why I like it, and let you enjoy it if you haven't seen it.

It's a good series, with good characters and a decent story. He didn't blow my mind, but it was very competent. I'd give it an 8, but the final time jump drops it to a 7, a pretty solid one. I don't usually punish something too much for being incomplete, I prefer it to it ending badly, but they did just that, they ended it badly.

So… Yeah.

Goodbye.

PS: The English dub is decent.
PS 2: The openings and endings are good songs.
PS3: Two girls meet by accident and both are called Nana? What are the odds of that!? I don't know, man. Sounds like a convenience to me…

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Good, but not The Better Place.

Posted : 1 year, 11 months ago on 26 February 2024 01:04 (A review of The Good Place)

The concepts are much better that the overall quality of the comedy and some of the characters. After Parks and Rec Mike is not making me laugh that much. It keeps me smiling, but not laughing out loud. Few scenes like the first Mindy one do it for me, and Michael losing his mind in early season 2. But a lot of people do react more pump, so...

Season 3 and 4 are better comedy wise. But all the philosophical and morality stuff are pretty cool and delivered through comedy so that makes it more fun to learn and probably viewers will get interested in learning more, so that's a nice plus.

Now character wise is fine, even good, they all do a job even if it is just being funny. Like the Judge... "Gonna erase the eaaaaaarth".
But besides Eleanor and Chidi, the two other humans of the main group I don't really care for much. I don't like the whole "dumb guy comedy" as a whole most of the time, so that can't help for Jason, but it is kinda worth it for the: "Jason figured it out?" and to be more fair, he does have his moments when he is more than that.

Others are okey, Michael is great. Janet is particularly disappointing for me, I hoped we will do something more with her gaining consciousness beyond "I love that guy", and some little jokes, but no. Is basically just that, doesn't get much more complicated.

Plot wise I really appreciate how the show keeps reinventing itself. They use a lot of ideas really quick, and they work hard to come up with more and more, never afraid to lead things where they will logically go instead of stretching a plot. And not settling for the easy answer. They also have good callbacks and don't forget older ideas and bring them back to fit with the current plot.

Eleanor and Michael pretending to be evil and doing the evil laugh together was just... tv masterpiece.

It all functions very well together.

Lastly, i'm curious how there is not mentioning of veganism whatsoever when discussing morality. I mean, not even Chidi. Keeps bringing up almond milk, but fuck the animals we torture to eat, I guess?

Not discussing that when they thought Jason was Jianyu in the dinner episode?

Like, they mention bad pesticides when buying an apple, but again, nothing about animals being injected shit to grow faster and meaty o whatever?

I'm not even vegan, but it is an interesting question. Do we value animal life because they can feel pain and abusing them is cruel, or fuck them cause they can't speak or understand big concepts and shit?

Anyway. That's all. The show is good. Is a 7 personally, tho.

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While you were living a fulfilling life...

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 7 September 2023 01:48 (A review of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice)

... I was training deflect.

Thanks character limiter. You ruined my title!!

I love Sekiro, but is not quite the game that it could have been, or that I would have hope it would be. There are some issues that I mostly don’t care about, but some that I do, and the ones I don’t care about don’t affect me, but maybe they should, like the lack of combat options.

I just like deflecting.

I mean, the combat system is great, I love it, I’ll deflect night and day, is hot! But there is a surprising lack of combat arts and prosthetics and actual quality to said prosthetics. In my case, I barely use them, they are mostly boring, to be honest. I ended the game with 998 spirit emblems, so, you know.

I’m trying to use them more in newer playthroughs, but they barely make a difference and there is a reason I never felt attracted to them. They are not very useful in important moments or most boss fights. You’ll have a better time using your emblems for Mortal Draw or something like that.

In my case: I used the axe in Hirate state and never again, the shurikens against the shooters surrounding the spear general the first 3 tries and never again. I beat Gyoubu third try without the firecrackers because I totally miss them. I would have use them otherwise, the firecrackers are actually god. The spear never. The flame barrel only with the chained ogre. Mist Raven fucking never, although, it does look cool. You can just dodge, tho.

I did use the Umbrella against Albino Ape, because I’m not running away like a bitch from the terror bullshit. Like seriously, terror? Terror? Instant dead? Really? I’m fighting the fuck, I’m clearly not that scared. I´m face to face with the headless, trading blows like a boss. I’m not fucking scared! Ter… Ok, just lest move on.

I did use malcontent for Demon of Hatred, because it is the most dogshit fight in the whole game and I wanted it to be over as fast as possible. I mean, I did not choose Sekiro to be fighting like fucking Dark Souls. I… I really hate that fight. I mean, an hour or so is not that long for that fight, I guess, but I was annoyed and bored the whole time. I tried to deflect and have fun but I keep getting burn and I just…

Isshin did make it up for it, tho, thanks the heavens.

And that’s it. Not much use to them. I mean, I upgraded them because I have to, too much money and nothing to use it with, and the ones I actually wanted, were, for some reason, not available unless I upgraded another one that I didn’t actually want to use. WHY? Why are the prosthetics an interconnecting tree? Is annoying.

Anyway, is a universal truth that people only consistently use the firecrackers and that’s it.

The game is not long enough to justify the upgrades for the prosthetics

No smoke bomb prosthetic?

The “best” combat arts are unlocked way to fucking late to actually care or matter for your first gameplay, and the lack of replayability and actual usefulness of said combat arts makes it not really worth the grind to get them unless you just want to experiment. At the end of the day, you will just go back to Ichimonji, because is God. If I beat the game, just gift me the fucking things or at least make a special boss to win an exp box or something.

And why not add the possibility of changing the arts mid fight? Cool combos can arise from that.

Stealth is worthless, enemy reaction is dumb as fuck. The dead bodies of their friends mean nothing to them. And am I crazy or it was supposed to be a mechanic when you hide the corpses to avoid detection? I could swear I saw that. Is half baked, is what I mean. You should deal with the consequences if you fuck up. Like, make it mean something, make it hard.

What else can I complain about? Oh, right. The Shura ending is kinda shit. Why not the Shura path rather? I mean, you make the decision, the game gets cut short, two special boss fights and that’s it. You allegedly go in a path of destruction and mayhem… I would have liked to play that… Like, killing the friends that you made along the game because you are now a killing machine that only cares about the euphoria of the fight, and you can feel both powerful and horrible. And maybe a new combat art tree only for the Shura, a shorter one, probably, but brutal and awesome. Let us feel how it is to be drowned in the horror of war.

I don’t know. Maybe I ask too much.

What else?

Game is too short, specially fountainhead palace, such a beautiful place, over in a half an hour. Fucking LOL. The world does not feel big enough despite the many different places. I loved it to much, I want to spend more time in here.

Genichiro is annoying in the final game battle, but I would have like to fight him more times, as he gets more powerful and learns new shit and stuff, to keep it fresh. Like a whole story boss, you know?

The Bosses attack patrons could have been improved, more diverse and less repetitive. The Resurrection mod show me that.

There’s is also a lack of women enemies… Now I don’t say this as a feminist thing, I just want to kill women…

Difficulty: Boss fights. I think the bosses should try to recover their posture like the minibosses do, fuck, even some regular guys do that. I know is easy to disrupt, but they can do it when they are far away or when they stagger you, as punishment for fucking up your posture like a dumb fuck. I feel like it should be possible to code that when they are low on posture they do that, and only when you are low enough on health, they try to kill you after breaking you.

Gyobu’s fight makes no sense. He is supposed to be like a hardcore motherfucker, a very powerful warrior, but he is one of the easiest bosses. I know he is technically the first big boss, but he should be more punishing, at the very least in NG+

The first phase should either force you to deflect his attacks while you can only damage the horse, then the horse dies, and you fight him in the ground in phase two. That would train you hardcore on how to deflect consistently. Or, the horse dies, he eats him and transforms into a centaur that hits you with his giant d…

Isshin should recover posture if he hits you with the Ichimonji if you fail to deflect.

Anyway. NG+ after doing the Shura ending is kinda worthless. What’s the point of having seven opportunities?

If you finish the endings, you should install the Resurrection mod and play it again. Have fun relearning the bosses new moves, vastly different, more varied, way more aggressive, way more fun to deflect, way more effective at making you RAGE. Is Sekiro hard mode. PLAY IT.

That’s enough. This is getting long.

First playthrough is an 8.

Goodbye.

Alaoz!

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The worst for the end.

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 31 August 2023 07:13 (A review of The Last Man)

This is one of my most hated books.

Apocalyptic? Mary Shelley? That sounds great!

It wasn't.

I was so excited for it. But it is soooooo boring! Some much flowery language even for the most simple of things. The story is so simple and basic as well. The most interesting stuff barely last anything. We don't stay to appreciate and explored them, it just gets mention and then we keep moving with this lot of shitty fucking characters. They are all the same!!

And there's nothing particularly insightful about human nature and shit like that to make up for it.

The Last of Us is way better than this.

All the characters are so... God. I hate them all. They are so melodramatic and boring. They have two character traits and that's it. They could have been fine, I guess, but is the narrator and main character that tells us everything about them, and he makes them worst. The Last Man? He should have been the first to die. Fuck that guy!

We always get told the characters personalities, their traits, that are always the fucking same anyway. Every main character is basically the same person, so full of honor and romanticism, such pure souls, so kind, so smart so... Shut up, Lionel! We always get fed the information directly, we barely ever learn something about them through the actual story. You know what I mean?

It makes them all feel so distant and not real that it is really hard to empathize with them most of the time, and because I hate Lionel, the narrator, and his over embellishing words, I care even less.

Perdita is a bitch, by the way. Fuck her too. I might have enjoy her decision, but Lionel fuck it up. It would still be a shit thing to do either way, but at least it would have been fun. Don't abandon and hurt your fucking kids cause you're sad, please.

Lionel started well, just like the plot, he is actually kinda interesting at the beginning, he is kinda of a asshole, he has fury and hatred... but then he becomes just like the rest. Melodramatic, boring, soft, so pure of heart, so unreal. OMG I hated them all.

The first volume is the worst, because you are expecting apocalyptic stuff, interesting stuff, but instead you have to suffer through long nine chapters of melodramatic, overly flowery love stories like the sort of thing you would see in a telenovela. The idea is to show you this people so you care about them later, but it just made me hate them.

The second volume is more exciting, there is war and plague and shit actually happens. But that does not last long and is meh at best anyway.

You don't care about the war, you barely know anything about it, you care only for one main character who's there fighting. But I hate him so I didn't. Glad he fucking died. Yeah. Glad.

The third volume is all about the world going to shit. The thing you were waiting for!! And you get some nice things about people being charitable, helping each other out, nobles and common people alike. A couple of crazy guys. People getting sick and shit. Raiders that one time. But this is all being told by Lionel, we don't lived this things through the pages, the world doesn't feel alive. He just tells us "that happened, and then that happened", so I don't care about it. Because I hate him and all his friends.

Now you might think this is all very subjective. It probably is. But you are gonna hate it too. I have a lot of resistance to "boring" things. But this is fucking dreadful. It feels so dated. No one talks like this anymore, no one behaves like this anymore without being on medication. I doubt they ever did, to be frank. The whole thing just feels fake. And boring. And overly flowery. And Melodramatic. And fucking shit.

I do hate this book, with a passion. But I guess is fine.

Lionel is indeed the last man. Yeah. The worst for the end.

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Jujutsu Kaisen is cursed.

Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 4 April 2023 02:00 (A review of Jujutsu Kaisen)

Real talk: I saw an image of Maki Zenin from the manga and I was… “that’s a cool design”. Also, I’m the type of guy that would watch something just because there is a hot femme in it. So, it was obvious that I was going to give it a chance. Besides, the animation looks pretty, so why not?

Well, turns out there are a lot of reasons to say no.

The show actually started kind of okay, I mean, I liked it a bit, nothing special but enough to continue. The anime was lucky to have those first 6 episodes, cause, it got really shit afterwards. All of the shonen anime tropes yet again sometimes done worse than usual, which is funny because a character makes fun of tropey cliche horror movies. Talk about self-awareness.

Now, tropey or cliche is not bad by itself, is when writers don’t do even the bare minimum to make it their own. Like the story with the bullied kid, it happens in real life and everything, but the way that was done was almost exactly the fucking same that other bad animes that I seen: incredibly basic, exaggerated, pretentious, sort of nihilistic, very emo shit. What is the unique lens and perspective of the author? Who knows.

“People have no hearts” Is this kid retarded?

The answer is yes, since he thinks that the weird looking dude that brutally murdered some children for talking to loud in an empty movie theater is a good person. I know he’s biased, but Jesus fuck, man.

Now, at the very least that guy gets manipulated by a villain and that could be cool, but again, that was also, very, very, painfully basic. Also, the villain. I thought he was fucking dogshit at the beginning, he had a very common personality for anime villains, that exaggerated childish and bubbly behavior, contrasted by exaggerated sadistic behavior. But, he is a child, technically, so I guess it makes sense, also, he is born of just pure evil emotion. He is a main villain, so I would give him some leisure to develop and be better, but I won’t hold my breath, the anime hasn’t earned shit from me. I’m just extremely good faith sometimes…

That whole arc was boring as fuck, tho, super edgy, super shit. I almost quit.

But no, I stayed for the even more boring tournament arc. Now, I’m not gonna say much about that cause… why would I bother? I fell asleep.

That arc illustrates one of the worst aspects of this show: the sheer inability to correctly deliver information, and giving unnecessary information in bad times. In other words, the exposition is dogshit. And that is the central theme of my thesis…

Not only do characters explain shit outloud for no reason about their abilities and backstories in battle, but they also explain their abilities in internal monologues to… themselves? Like WTF? They do not only make that basic mistake of explaining what every character around already knows, but they also explain in their MINDS shit that they already know about themselves. That’s insane, do you understand?

“I can do this shit, and invoke this many motherfuckers to do this and that…” Who are you talking to, my dude? Stop it.

And they often do it in the middle of a battle, stopping the flow of said battle. That is not how you deliver information in an audiovisual medium. Why are the other characters listening to this shit? I thought you bitches were fighting.

Is the clumsiest and most artificial way of letting the audience know what’s happening or can happen with their powers. I’m not retarded, I can understand what’s happening by seeing it, you don’t need to tell me in the middle of the fight. You can explain later what is not self-explanatory or explain it before in a natural way. Or even during, that could be fine, but it has to be natural, it has to make sense.

“He used it as a decoy and released it?” Yes. I just saw it. Why are you telling me, close eyes? I saw it with my blood-filled eyes because you´re giving me cancer!

“Water? I’m being swept away by the volume and pressure?!” OMG, dude. I’m seeing it. Right now! Why are you narrating? What’s going on!?

I fucking hate that guy. Emo boy is no better, he explains part of his philosophy in the middle of the fight. Why? It doesn’t matter. Just punch him! That was annoying, but the monk guy? Oh, the monk guy…

“I’m doing this for my momma, I can’t lose”. Dude, shut your mind!! “I need to keep pretending” NOOOOOO.

Why are they telling me all the secret motivations for this people and the secret things that they are doing and thinking? Those things are plot twist, mysteries, revelations that allow you to see characters in a different light. But no, the show is allergic to these compelling things, instead opting for letting you know every single thing about them when is not fucking relevant. This is not the time!

What’s the point of Nobara remembering her friend? It means nothing to the story at hand and its just distracting. Just let us know that she REALLY wanted to leave her hometown and way later, when I give a shit and is important, explain why.

One last thing about that episode. I thought the point was to see what would she do in a dire situation like that, what hard choice would she make. But then the protagonist helps her, completely destroying said moment and… then what? I didn’t learn anything. She wasn’t force to act, it got cut so fast. What would she do? I don’t know.

Lost opportunity to learn her way of thinking. She does say something important in the final episode, but there’s no context as to how or why she got there, she just does, which is fine!! But is kinda underwhelming considering that early scene. Does that kid have a sit in her life? Humm.

The only one that matters is the twins story, the rest were not necessary at all. And even that one was bad, very poorly explain. Oh yeah, that’s also the thing, the show is very bad at backstories, they are always so short and vague and could be cut off and lose nothing. The only good one is the one from salaryman. Is was not important for the plot, but it did help to understand him more.

“Liar”, thought Mai.

I’m sorry, is she holding her sister accountable for what she said when she was like 6 years old? Fucking LOL.

Continuing with the unnecessary information in bad moments, another example is the evil brothers of the last arc. We fucking learn that they are at least part human BEFORE the main characters do, so instead of being shocked that they are not disappearing after death along with them, we already know, so it means nothing. The revelation is underwhelming.

Why tell me their origin story? Huh? Leave it for later, man. Is not important at the moment and it would be WAY more impactful if we learn it along with the characters. Stop telling me the backstories like they're fucking TED Talks… And now that we are on that note. Stop explaining me stuff like a fucking PowerPoint presentation. The glasses guy randomly appears to explain things like the Rat in Horrible Histories. Is dumb.

Another example of unnecessary information in bad moments, is the old guy literally thinking to himself and remembering the evil secret plan he just hatched. My dude, my brother in Ala, can you please stop?

I would say tho, in good faith, it kinda works, cause, spoiler, his plan dies like immediately and is sort of SNK moment when the colossal titan reappears, you remember? When Eren is talking big shit and BOOM, surprise motherfucker!! Kinda like that.

Still, is really dumb. I could and should have happen in real time, like with the meeting, because yeah, is not illegal to not have a mystery or secret plan in certain moments, that’s not what I saying, is just that the show does it all the time. It happens the way that it happens not because is more effective, but because that’s the only way the show knows how to deliver information.

So, that’s my special issue with this show, is probably the worse anime I ever seem in the exposition department. It damages everything it touches. That’s the only reason I wrote this review, because I’m not only complaining yet again about a shonen being cliche crap.

I still think the show has potential, but that could only be my thirst for Maki speaking.

There are some okay stuff, like Todo. I actually… don’t hate him. He was really shit at the beginning, but he actually has an interesting way of seeing stuff. Besides the retarded “what type of women do you like?”, he’s obsession with the idol (that only works for Shinpachi), and his ridiculous personality, he has cool standards for what a friend should be, and he would let you die if you don’t fulfill that. That’s actually interesting.

I’m hopeful for Maki as well.

And that’s it.

3/10.

PD: I bloody hate Kamo.

PD2: What is up with those after credits scenes? You’re not Gintama, show, you’re not that funny.

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The Doctor without a license.

Posted : 3 years ago on 22 January 2023 03:31 (A review of The Thirteenth Doctor)

With the thirteenth Doctor we have a Doctor that killed someone for no reason and let go free a killing AI, to then say that systems are never actually problematic and it just people, which is just plain wrong. She also supported a super corporation without knowing all about them, which were a bunch of fuck up shit, totally contrary to the moral principles of the Doctor. She does nothing to remediate this. All of that in one shitty episode (Kerblam!).

She is also a Doctor with a childish view on guns, so against shooting, that she champions slowly suffocating and starving to dead as a more moral option (Arachnids in the UK). A Doctor that embodies a fundamental misunderstanding of the gun principle (The Ghost Monument) so much that she won’t let you defend yourself against killer robots with a gun even tho under her own moral system, it is okay to attack them because they can be repair.

She is a Doctor that’s okay with stasis, being trap in the cusp of life and death, when she originally was totally against it. (The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos).
How incredibly obscene, right?

She also comes up with unnecessary dangerous solutions to very easy problems (Resolution). Just take the Dalek of him with your hands!!! She almost kills that guy.

But that’s not the end, she is also a Doctor who is apparently ok with someone being mistreated and possibly torture because of the color of their skin (Spyfall part 2). She also forgot to save her friends life, by the way. Needed to be reminded of it.

A Doctor that abandons two people she could easily save because she prefers to give a speech to characters who already agree with her (Orphan 55).

And she is a Doctor who abandons her friend to suffer emotionally alone because is too awkward (Can you hear me?).

She is a Doctor that chose her own life above someone else. (The Timeless Children). Organic genocide is fine if someone else does it, I guess. Tenth was on a similar position with Donna's grandfather, and he chose to die and save him. Cause that’s what the Doctor would do!! Damn it Chibnall, you are a fan of this show!! WHY?

And she is a Doctor that sacrificed a Tardis, a living being for all we know of them; they have consciousness.

AND, AND, she is a Doctor that committed TRIPLE, not double like the War Doctor, but TRIPLE genocide… for no reason!!! There was no reason that would have work, and it didn’t. A Passenger was necessary to end the FLUX. She is so stupid, that for some reason, she thought that tree fleets would be enough to stop a force design to eat the fucking universe. No doubt while doing it, no remorse after it. What in the actual fuck?

Superficially she seems to be the Doctor, but the meat of it is rotten. She did not let Yaz in, never got a proper resolution to the revelation of her past lives, never learn from her mistakes o dealt with anything actually morally grey. She learned nothing as a person, and so did her companions. What a worthless and empty era. So glad is fucking over. What an absolute waste of Jodie and the first female Doctor. Is probably his fault that we have a man again so soon. Goddamnit, Chibnall!

That’s it.

Alaoz!

PS: Watch The Haunting of Villa Diodati, only time she truly feels like the Doctor.

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