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"Mom! Buffy! Tara! Waah!"

Posted : 1 year, 12 months ago on 2 April 2022 02:25 (A review of Dawn Summers)

When she was the key she was great, fantastic even, then she goes kind of dull. She stagnated a bit. Became just a regular character reacting.

So maybe her greatness didn't come from her character traits. Still, very human.


She goes from a strong 8 to a 6.

Being a Watcher makes sense, but comes too late.

Still, she's a buffyverse character so, she's funny and complicated. She made me cry.
Being the key, her existential problems, her grieve, her pain, her stealing, all her issues are fucking heartbreaking.

She's a vital and empathetic character for most of her time, and if you don't like her, maybe you're a misog ... just kidding ... Or Am i?


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Wait a minute, thatā€™s The Doctor!

Posted : 2 years, 3 months ago on 30 December 2021 02:33 (A review of Broadchurch)

I choose to see this show as one of the times he became human.

Series 1.

Just in case, I let you know, this has spoilers. Watch the show, you fuck!

The first thing I want to do is congratulate the series on the realism of the police procedure, especially the forensics uniform. It is not something that should be congratulated, but so many times it is poorly done. On top of that, it shows well how difficult it is to close a murder case, especially in a town with such ridiculously inexperienced police.

The realism spreads throughout the show. The series is filled with wonderfully written and expertly acted characters, they feel so natural that it's easy to see them as people and empathize with them on a supreme level. They don't say things that would make them look innocent for a multitude of reasons, such as shame and regret, a haunting past, or just a "it's not of your fucking business." People are like that, we keep quiet about things because they are private, because of the harm it can cause to others, no matter how much it makes sense to say them to save ourselves.

It is difficult to say that there is a protagonist, at least for me. The vast majority have the same time on camera, the detectives investigating the case are not more important than the family suffering from the death of their son, nor are they more complex or more in-depth. Maybe Broadchurch itself is the main character ā€¦

I would not say that the characters are the most extraordinary ever, you are not going to see a lot of character development (not that it is mandatory and they are mostly adults anyway) or something particularly original or outstanding, but the development of it is fantastic. They are normal people with well-defined personalities and things in their past that characterize them, now dealing with something very heavy and reacting to things as people, as only they could.

The series has a heavy, tense atmosphere, it doesn't let you relax for long. Difficult emotions keep flying all over the place. All of that is helped by the fantastic music and performances. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me cry multiple times (even my dad cried like a bitch). And the direction is capable of making you see a place that beautiful as a bleak and melancholic place.

There are light moments when you can laugh, people will always try to stop suffering at least for a second, but the pressure of the situation is always present. As an extreme example of that idea, I really like it when Beth and Mark are looking at old photos of Danny, smiling at the good times, while for Jack, looking at old photos brings up horrible memories that push him to suicide.

The investigation is important and well done, but it is the least compared to the stories of the interrogated characters and what they are feeling. The series does not do the usual stuff of the genre, the detectives do try to do the typical, it is their job, but the series itself does not want the murderer to screw himself during his interrogation, or use what other suspects say to formulate a puzzle to create the case, no, here the interrogations serve more to know things about these people that otherwise they would never say.

The series is very successful giving you several possible suspects to choose from, all plausible, all with a more or less strong connection to Danny. Directing and seeing various things through Hardy's eyes makes perfectly normal behavior look bad and suspicious. The list of suspects is long, and in such a small town where everyone knows each other, whoever the murderer is, it will be a serious blow to the community and the family. What a horrible thing to have to distrust your friends, even your own husband.

But more important than that is looking at the different ways the family deals with grief. Beth (who I think is the best, as she has more to go through) wants to feel useful, keep busy, otherwise she would go crazy. Also, she needs a sign that his son is fine wherever he is, she feels the guilt of believing she has failed him, and has to deal with a new life growing inside of her, when her heart is "still so full of Danny."

Her mother is in support mode. Mark is able to bury stuff so he doesn't have to deal with all the horror, and perhaps that is why he is the most affected as the series progresses (Iā€™m including the following series/seasons), since everything eats away at him. At the same time, he has to deal with his own guilt for his infidelity and for having beaten his son. Also, he thinks he failed him too.

Chloe, the sister, wants to be a teenager and have fun, she doesn't want to just be flooded with grief and be the dead boy's sister. At the same time, she wants to act in the pursuit of justice for her brother when she believes the police are not doing enough, so she clearly cares a lot.

There's not much to say about Hardy, he's solid, his personality is strong and entertaining, and David's charisma certainly helps, but he's not the most interesting either. It is great that he wanted to get away from stuff, only to find a horrible thing, and his own guilt for failing before fuels his drive to catch the killer, damn his health ā€¦ wait a second, heā€™s awesome!

Ellie has a certain level of development, she hardens a bit as a person, and while she doesn't change that much, her reactions and everything, like I said, are natural and realistic. And that works for me for an 8-episode tv show that has to deal with so much, plus the main focus is the family.

Joe is an interesting character. It took three months for the guilt to become too much for him and he ended up giving himself up. I don't know if it would have been enough to get him arrested without his confession, so despite everything, he still has a moral fiber. (That's why I don't really like what he does in season 2, but it doesn't seem impossible either.)

Ā 

It's interesting because even he doesn't know exactly what he is and why he did what he did, and the series doesn't give you a definitive answer. He may be a pedophile, as he may not be exactly. He was probably afraid that he was, or maybe he was half sure that he was and hated that, so when Danny says those things to him, the mixture of emotions, his own shame and the fear that he might leave him, make him lose his head and he ends up strangling him by accident.

In case it is not so obvious, clearly the series is not going to show him feeling guilty, because that way they spoil the end. Clearly Joe has a certain level of composure, heā€™s able to handle himself well in public. It may be something that does not combine so well with the fact that he surrenders himself, but you cannot tell me that it is an impossibility that when we do not see him he suffers like crazy, and by the time we see him, he is already calmer. People are complex.

If I have a problem with the series, it is the presence of the psychic, because is pure bullshit. I do not feel that the series is telling me that he is a fraud. Nor can I claim that it says otherwise, but it certainly seems inclined to that side. He knows a thing or two that he probably shouldn't know. It's not that big of a problem either, it doesn't really affect the investigation, everything would have gone the same without him, so even if Chibnall believes in those things, at least he or an editor had the good sense to minimize the effect of the psychic, otherwise, it would have made the writing lazier, there's not much need to investigate when you have someone giving you vital information.

Beyond that, although there are a few non-round tidbits, like the fact that Chloe doesn't seem to feel much guilt over Jack, she doesn't deal with it in any way, or how weird Susan Wright is sometimes, or the fact that Reverend Rory, I mean, Paul, does not have as many religious lines in his church as you would expect, they are things that do not affect the vast majority of the work and its exceptionality.

Anyway. Broadchurch is an excellent series, at least in its first season. And I think it deserves a:

8/10.

Alaoz!



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Stake this monstrosity!

Posted : 2 years, 3 months ago on 27 December 2021 03:55 (A review of Castlevania)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.


Castlevania is a fun vampire, because it doesnā€™t suck blood, it just sucks.

Don't be fooled by the good art, the competent animation that is terrific at times, the excellent voice acting or the blood that makes you think this shit is mature. And that weird episode in which suddenly there is sex everywhere.

It's a pretty lazy series and I don't believe they planned the story, it very much seems like they wrote it on the fly, which should be impossible because of the Netflix format, but it still seems to be the case.

Now, Iā€™m gonna stake this bitch!

CHARACTER

No, the characters are not great, they are barely functional, and virtually none of them get development. They are very soft.

Sypha's development is that she starts cursing, that's all. That she knows how screwed up the world can be doesn't really change her personality or her way of thinking. It doesnā€™t matter.

Alucard goes crazy for a few moments after the betrayal of the Japanese, but it doesn't really matter because it is ignored, it leads nowhere.

Trevor ā€¦ no idea. He strikes me as the same fuck from the beginning, but now with a mission.

Issac doesn't make fucking sense in development, but the potential was there. And I donā€™t give a fuck about the rest.

The vampire lovers (the lesbians) were sweet, I liked their relationship, but they barely appeared, it's disappointing. There was a lot of potential with them. At least they are alive and together. Better than Lenore and the other fuck. Lenore was awesome in her first appearances, she was smart and interesting. But once that arc is over, they no longer know what to do with her.

I don't like Hector. He is very weak. He's not a bad character exactly, he's just a dumbass for the most part. And then, when he's smart, he shouldn't have been able to even do any of those things, he should have been under constant surveillance. But vampires are idiots in that season.

Dracula is a cunt that doesn't deserve that happy ending. There is no excuse for genocide, man. Kill yourself, by yourself. But I guess everybody grieves in different ways.

Isaac. Oh Isaac. Probably the character with the most potential. His character journey should have gone this way: 1. Hating humans because they are shit. 2. Learn that not all of them are shit. 3. He doesnā€™t forget that several of them are indeed shit. 4. Protect those who are not shit. 5. Lead them to be better.

Very simple, but they screw it up. Because they prefer to focus on the shitty adventures of Trevor and Sypha. Two characters with very little to offer. (I would have gone in to more detail about Issac journey, but the ideas I have for that are gonna be use in a story of mine).

Instead of that, he thinks humans are shit because ONE guy hurt him. We are never shown any other encounters in his past, so I can assume that.

I have no idea why he doesn't have a problem with vampires the same way, they are worse. It's okay that he likes Dracula, but the rest are never more than pieces of shit.

No matter. Then, in a desert, he meets three or four one-dimensional humans, who are literally evil for no reason. That reinforces his hatred of them. All very lazy.

Then he meets two who are not totally shit, but is not like they do many good things. One gives him a drink and a conversation on his boat, and the other gifts him a magic mirror. That's it, thatā€™s enough. That makes him hesitate for a while, but they are such minimal things compared to the bad things that he seems to believe about humans that it is laughable.

Then, VERY reasonable soldiers won't let him in into their city, because they know what the demons have been doing and the things they have ruin. Isaac sees that as something so irrational and evil, that he destroys all doubt and hates humans completely again. Of course, he murders them all.

People, don't forget, Isaac is a mass murderer. He is a bastard.

Then he meets a sorcerer who enslaved an entire city, another Forgemaster who is friendly, but strange ... he murders him and decides to rebuild the city for a reason that is not explained. Suddenly, he has decided to form a utopia. I mean, that's the obvious endpoint of his journey, I said it should in his early episodes, but he comes to that conclusion OFF-CAMERA.

Isaac is a fucking idiot despite having wise dialogue and an orgasmic voice. He sucks!

FIGHTS, MAGIC AND STUFF

One of the two biggest problems with the series is the lack of plausibility of the fights. Trevor is human in the series, only human. Even so, he can be psychically equal to beasts much larger and three times as thick as he is. He kicks them and hurts them, he takes their hits and survives. He is able to evade them!

It is very difficult to enjoy the battles when I kept pointing out all the times that he should have died. It gets really bad in the last season, when, after being stabbed, cut and beaten, as well as being exhausted, he goes to battle against the giant form of Death, does impossible things, endures all his blows and ends up winning. Da hell!

It is very implausible and it makes me angry. Also, another reason why he wins is because the enemies are idiots who never take advantage of their ā€¦ advantages, and make horrible decisions. Most demons are beasts, but even animals would not be that dumb.

One of the worst scenes was Trevor's battle in the library. There is a giant who should have crushed him, but he stays still after taking ONE hit and allows himself to be killed. Of course, the rest attack him one by one. Because if enemies were to wait for their turn, those would be beast demons. Makes perfect sense.

No one mentions how rare his durability is and the things that he does, so that maybe you can argue that he is superhuman. The series does not seem to be aware of the problem. Just because is animated doesn't mean you have the excuse for him to do impossible things. It is not a comedy, it does not have that advantage.

And don't tell me it doesn't matter that much, that they are just fights. You can't tell me that when there are so many of them. The story progresses through fights and action scenes, and almost all of them are horrible. Not even the choreography is good, if you pay attention, many of the decisions are stupid. Nobody who knows how to fight would do the movements that the series shows you. It's the animation that makes you think it's good, but there are more important things than how beautiful it looks.

The show is rather silly, it doesn't understand the Trevor problem. It does not understand that Sypha is more broken that my anus, because she can use 3 super magics and she NEVER gets tired, no matter how much she uses it all the time, no matter how big her ice shits are and how much fire she shoots. She doesn't even have trouble breathing or pain in her hands. Nothing! She overpowers a whole castle!

Suddenly we learn that she can use thunder too, in the middle of season three I think. She never uses it before, but she always uses it after that first time. We are not told that she studied it recently, she can just use it, just like that, just when it was important. It makes it seem that they just came of with that as an asspull.

She is undoubtedly the most powerful character in the show, but Trevor still has to deal with Death. Sypha just wants to be nice, because she doesn't need his help and she shouldnā€™t have to leave the most important and dangerous things to him.

I donā€™t believe that she cannot win a battle, I never feel her in danger because I know that she has unlimited power. And she's not stupid, of course, unless the show requires her to be stupid in order to advance the plot. Like when she sees the marks on the houses in that village, and she knows they are for something fuck up, and neither she nor Saint Germain think that, maybe, just maybe, they should erase them. Just in case.

They don't do that and it all goes to hell. I was not happy with that story arc, it was very stupid. The best part was the design of the madman in charge of the cult.

The series does that a lot. They are presented to us as competent, but when they have to be morons, they are. Artificial plot! And that is the biggest problem of the show. Alucard can fly and move VERY, VERY fast, but when he must go to the castle room where Saint Germain awaits so he can stop him, he runs at normal speed. WTF And he never removes the stones (or whatever they are) that he senses are for something bad. He's a fucking idiot!

If he had flown, the story arc ends there. If Trevor and Sypha had erased the marks, the story arc would end there. Everything moves forward thanks to stupid decisions, not even just convenience, no, purely idiotic decisions. You know what Neil deGrasse Tyson would say about that.

It's a frustrating series. It should have ended with the death of Dracula. But the show drank more than it could pee.

This could have been longer, it would have been so easy to dissect everything wrong with every character and every season (except for the first one, that one is okay) but Iā€™m tired now. I might make a video someday, that way I can use the visual evidence while I shit on it.

That's it.

4/10.

Alaoz!

PS: The vampire geisha was cool as fuck. But they give us her story after she's already dead. Assholes.


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There is only room for one god in this lab ...

Posted : 2 years, 4 months ago on 28 November 2021 01:02 (A review of Fringe)

... and it's not yours.


English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.


Would I recommend Fringe?

Well ā€¦ Yeah, but is complicated.

Very much like Buffy, you have to go through a shitty start (a season and a half in this case) to get to the good stuff, later to the great stuff, to then lose some steam and end with a disappointing yet not bad finale.

Fringe is kind of an episodic show, very much a procedural, then turns into sort of a spy show, goes back to procedural and ends up being a rebels vs empire, all of these facets with lots of sci-fi shit.

At the beginning, the show suffers from not enough focus on character, specially from the episodic stories, so you donā€™t really care about the people committing the crimes or the people investigating them. They focus to much on how cool or weird are the sci-fi stuff and on the investigation, and not enough on the most important part, the part that makes you care.

It also suffers from stupid behavior, characters that are supposed to be competent or really smart being fucking idiots when the plot needs them to, which allows the stories to continued,Ā itĀ happens with the episodic ones as well as the larger plots. Is all very shitty.

And I would not forgive the treatment that Gillian Jacobs got. Bastards!

Of course, is a J.J show, despite the fact that his involvement from a writing perspective is limited to co-writing two episodes during the shitty part of the show and co-creating the lore. In J.J. Abrams fashion, the show has a lot of mysteries that promises is going to answer. They do, in fact, answer them. Not absolutely all of them, but those ones are really not important. The big ones are all there.

The big reason I would recommend Fringe is the existence of Walter Bishop. Even when the show was shit, he still was really good. It was weird, like there was a writer who only wrote him and then fuck off.

Walter is a complex character who constantly has to face the damage he has done when he was a different man, a scarier man. He is not all there in the head, which causes both funny and sad scenes, besides creating some mystery and character exploration. Heā€™s funny, heā€™s clever, heā€™s goofy, sweet and energetic, and of course, very, very interesting.
A thoroughly entertaining and memorable character.

With time, the majority of the main cast gets enough development and exploration for them to work and leave a mark, but at least for me, I did not care much for them. Except for Astrid, who is really sweet and clever, and has a good friendship with Walter that I wish it was explored a bit more.

Main characters and others are not evil just because, which is really great. Is all very layered.

Anyway. The show looks good, the acting is usually good, bla bla. And despite mistakes, has a lot of good stuff in it, and season 3 is particularly good. Almost every episode in season 3 has good stories that are thematically related to the characters or the world.

And the characters are usually very smart, which was very shocking to me. I was so confused, it all happened so fast, the quality just jumps halfway season 2. Is almost like the writers were force to write those early episodes.

And, surprisingly, "Peter" is one of the best episodes of television ever made. It was a surprise cause it was in Season 2.

By the way, the scientific mumbo jumbo is very funny cause, you google the explanation they give in the show and surprise, it does not work like that.

The ending is rushed thanks to the cancelation, but the character work is on point and none of them get destroyed. And thatā€™s the most important part.

As a whole, the show works enough to deserve a passable noteā€¦ for now.

6/10.

Alaoz!


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It is a nightmare that bad writers get work.

Posted : 2 years, 6 months ago on 23 September 2021 05:30 (A review of The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.

Is a bad film.

There's 3 important points.

1. Witcher training: Is fucking ridiculously dumb. They trow a bunch of kids into a swamp full with monsters, the majority are fucking slaughter, because of course they are. But, the ones that survived are ā€œWitcher materialā€. ThatĀ“s so stupid. How about you trained them correctly until they are said material. I mean, fucking hell. One of them lose his arm, it if wasn't for that, he will be 100%.

Not all of them are surviving the herbs, keep them alive until then.

Is such a horrible system that has no reason to exist.


We donā€™t even get to see how the shit ended.


And, by the way, they make them trained with real swords, instead of practice ones. Stop doing that, please.

2. Tetra: She creates a big problem. The funny thing is that we can eliminate one of her scenes and everything gets better. She's is shown fucking a mountain up. If she's that strong, who can face her? Not many people, no one in the film. And yet, she loses, no because she gets outsmarted or anything like that, is just that she's really stupid.

Vesemir gets put into a trance or illusion, where, obviously, heā€™s defenseless. And yet, nobody attacks him, not even her that hates him so much.
Is not like it was a random fight or something, they went there specifically to kill Witchers.

Yes, her magic takes time, but not that much, and he was under the illusion far longer than the 45 seconds that it took her to dance before. And then, he gets put under another one, given her more time.

Yes, Tetra could have taken down Kaer Morhen using that magic, with the protection of the monster and the humans as meat shields (makes no sense that they are working together but okey) and the time that they can make for her.
But, I think that she probably prefers to kill them directly, after all, she really hates them.

Although, taking into account how incompetent the writers are, is more likely that they did not thought about it. So, Iā€™m writing the film for them, because there is no line that I can point to. But, I still think is fair to assume that.

Now, her motivation ā€¦ Yes, it makes sense, but is so childish. Instead of hating that particular Witcher, she hates all of them. And that's the easiest thing to write for a story like this, and is lazy and lacks nuance and is fucking boring.

That kind of stuff works better with a character that learns that not all are the same.

Racism is not good, kids.

3. The other big problem is Deglan. The fact that he makes chimeras is the only reason thereā€™s a plot. Is a dangerous decision because its screams that thereā€™s an intelligence behind it. Is very suspicious. Just produce monsters in mass, that's going to be easier to hide.

Is not necessary to make super beast, but if he really wants to make them more dangerous, he could just make them a bit bigger, improve the claws and shit, stuff like that. People can assume that they ā€œevolveā€ for some reason, if they even notice it. Or perhaps there bigger because they been eating better or some shit. I don't know, I'm not a biologist!

Deglan didnā€™t strike me as a retard, I assume thereā€™s a good reason as to why he is the leader. It seems to me is just a reason to have a plot, and that's contrived and bad writing.

Maybe Tetra is the one making monster and incriminating Witchers, that way having a reason to eliminate them, getting her revenge.
That if you want to keep that plot, she could just be a Witcher hunter.

4. As an extra, Kitsu. Sheā€™s not so much a character, but a plot device. Sheā€™s just there to let them know about the mutations and to be use to bring all those monsters to Kaer Mohren. She appears out of nowhere, we never get to know her normal to like her and stuff. Her only reason to exist is to be useful for the plot. And that's lame.

And that's it. There are good things, like some relationships (Illyana is good) and the animation. The fact that a lot of the monster arenā€™t stupid and easy to kill like the ones in Castleshit. The villains at least have an understandable motivation, even if thereā€™s not much to them as people.

Vesemir has a character and a thing that could be explored, but it not really explored. You know, his love of coin as the only thing that matters. Is not the case, he clearly cares about other stuff. But they donā€™t give him a choice between money and a moral act. Or a regret about a time he chose coins instead of saving someone or a relationship. Is not like his deeply sad and thinks a lot about Illyana. Thereā€™s no scene in which he regrets the life decision he took.

Is not like thereā€™s nothing, but is not enough. The movie is too fucking short.

And Tetra also suffers, because thereā€™s the thing about believing sheā€™s clean of flaws and stuff, but is the one scene, and nothing after that. Her motivation is entirely emotional and thereā€™s not any exploration of her as a person.

I canā€™t really empathize with these people; I barely know them.

God! Is a 4.

Alaoz!

PS: The Gerald thing was laughable.


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Not very good. Hear me out.

Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 27 May 2021 08:16 (A review of Berserk)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.

Originally written in May 26, 2019.

WARNING, WARNING. This might be long.

This review is going to be centered around a particular aspect: realism.
Is dark fantasy, I know, but with limited fantasy elements. Because of that, I hope that it would try to be as realistic a possible with the other aspects, to help you immerse in the medieval atmosphere. But no.

Realism is good. Makes things more complicated and serious and dire and all that cool stuff. You know. Is one of the reasons ASOIAF is so fucking good. The politics, regular life, war, you name it.

IS NOT TRYING TO BE REALISTIC!

Well, is not trying to be that fantastical either. So, the fact that they cut through armor like is not fucking there, pisses me off.

Is for spectacle, I know. But it makes thing more boring to me. Is not even Guts who does this, ALL of them do. Like is fucking clothes!
Hey! Even padded clothes can give you some protection against swords. So, the fact that metal amour canā€™t do shit, pisses me off.

It gets in the way of the story too. Griffith gets shot with an arrow (episode 9). That would not have happened if the animators and writers didn't thought that armor doesn't do shit. An arrow is not going to have an easy time piercing armor. You see, armors were very good at their job. They wore it for a reason.

Is probably MiuraĀ“s fault, anyway.

Shoot the bastard in the head or the neck or in any other moment when heā€™s not wearing the armor. The killer could miss; even tho heā€™s supposed to be really good. But still, more acceptable. Nobody is perfect.

Maybe Griffith goes to one knee or something, and the arrow flies above him. Convenient, yes, but still better. ThatĀ“s how bad it is!

Is not impossible, but not in the goddamn breastplate.

You know what? They could have poison him. Or push him from a balcony.

ā€œSorry. I guess the hawk can't flyā€.

You attack him on the street, a robbery gone bad. Better that a hunting accident. There were people around him, they didn't see no fucking deer. What if they catch the killer?

ā€œSorry, sir. I confused this white-haired man in a suit of armor with a deer. I know, Iā€™m as surprised as you areā€.

Hand to hand combat is less entertaining when you ignored the efficiency of armor. The characters attack without thinking, without a strategy, without tactics. And because armor doesn't do shit, they have to think even less.

It seems to me, it will be more fun to see them suffer, sweat and use their heads to make the enemy trip up and fall, to then stab their eyes through the slits of their visors. Or to find other ways. Or hit them with a war hammer in their faces. Or throw hot sand or hot oil. Or shoot them with a cannonball.

Hey! That would be useful. Why donā€™t they use more cannons? They have them. I remember two from early on. But they mysteriously disappeared after that. I guess they realized that cannons fuck castles up and kinda make them obsolete. Well, too fucking late! I canā€™t stop thinking about all the moments where they could have use them.

ā€¦

What next? Right. The strategies and military tactics are ā€¦ competent? Is hard to give them too much weight, because the rivals are all retarded. You know who I mean. Tall, muscular, with a funny haircut; a very incompetent commander. And yet, despite that, heā€™s condecorated and they keep giving him missions. Amazing!

He loses a castle in episode 8. Leaving aside that the design of the castle is inefficient despite being an important one and being in a place where the natural protection is not perfect. The way that it is captured, is stupid, and pisses me off.

The offensive strategy is okay ā€¦ until a certain extent. They get in through a door because the guards donā€™t ask for any certificate or think twice before opening the door to people they do not know. Very incompetent, and to think that these are the people in charge of this important castle. Lazy writing, my friend.

The battles are generally not good, thereĀ“s no strategy in open field. They do think a bit when they take places, but these just work because every enemy is dumb. Griffith doesnā€™t need to think much. And thatā€™s why is really hard to believe that he is a great general. Heā€™s not. Heā€™s at best competent. He just happens to be surrounded by idiots.

But wait! It gets worse. In episode 15 and 16 we get to know the impenetrable castle that has NEVER been beaten in a hundred years. The castle is again badly design, with no full working battlements, no gatehouse, among other things. Again, the offensive strategy is okay ā€¦ until a certain point.

Besides the fact that the Band of the Hawk send their cavalry with just swords, the fucking idiots. The problems are the ineptitude by the castle defense and plot armor for the Band of the Hawk. At least some kind of armor works here.

The Chuda army or whatever that fuck they're called, leaves the door open with two guards in front ā€¦ Are you fucking kidding me? Thatā€™s so dumb. Is also a problem that nobody notices that little hawk group trying to sneak. Yeah, there was a little sandstorm, which is very convenient, but I guess Griffith knew it would happen despite us not being told this.
He can predict the weather, fuck it.

Anyway! There is a tower called the watchtower, use for ... watching stuff. You want me to believe that no one could see them or hear them? They were on horseback ā€¦ riding! They were not even walking to make as little noise as possible. If there's not a watchtower, then is a massive design problem in such an important castle. Anyway, why is there no fucking archer or crossbowman in the battlements? Is stupid, and pisses me off.

They get in, and a little group has been left inside under the command of the more stupid and ridiculous character of the show. I donā€™t need a comic relief in the antagonist side in such high command. It kinda reduces the danger, donā€™t you think?

What a horrible military administration. Is a stupid decision to leave something under the command of fucking Adon. How that fuck he has such a high rank? Christ!

The castle looks pretty big, and knowing that the hawks are few in comparison, is stupid to send all of your troops outside. Is stupid already to send you troops outside of your protection. We barely see the battle inside and without really knowing how, they win.

BUT THE NOBLEMEN REALLY WANTS TO FUCK HIM. He could just have leave the entire Band of the Hawk die trying to take the castle, and when the commander, that if he has a brain will be running away, send your troops to captured him. That way he could have fuck him and at the same time look smart. Is that too much to ask? Bloody hell!

Every enemy is retarded. It smells like convenience instead of a character flaw. His emotions are not enough for being so incompetent. There was no reason to risk anything. And lets no forget, heā€™s fucking plain and boring. What a great villain.

Outside of the castle, the Band of the Hawk manages to hold a superior force, better protected, better armed, better fed, better trained and way more numerous. Like I said, when is an open field battle, thereā€™s no sign of strategy or tactics and the Band of the Hawk has so much plot armor that hurts ā€¦ And pisses me off. We donā€™t even get to see the fight!

In the same episode, 16, Adon lets loose a poisoned arrow into Casca. She gets a little bit tired, but nothing really happens at the end. She doesnā€™t die or gets sick. Even his poisons are shit.

ā€¦

There is no tension because the hawks fuck everything easily. Specially Guts, killing dozens and dozens of fucks all on his own. I mean, the guy killed a hundred men!! Oh boy, episode 13 in the forest. I come to accept that Guts is superhuman, despite that making everything more boring. But why didnā€™t they shoot arrow after arrow if nobody could beat him at close? I so stupid! A hundred men? They ALL DIE because you could not loose some arrows. I mean, if the first ten die, it might be time to change your approach. I guess it doesnā€™t matter, after all ... his cape stops arrows! WTF. Armor cero, cape one.

Guts should have die.

ā€¦

Then the show goes okay. The Queen and the conspirator die without any character exploration so I donā€™t care. They decide not to jump to safety and a few broken bones and instead they stay so they can burn to dead. Kinda shit. I seem better in basically everything. Well done, guys.

Later on they have to rescue Griffith. Again, Guts is so fucking boring wining easily. And again, no one thought of shooting some arrows until it was too late. The same thing happens when daddy hawk gets captured again, and that makes even less sense because it was in a open field.

And the scene ends, they win, and we donā€™t get to see how. And they all survived.
Iā€™m starting to see a pattern.

ā€œIn this world. Is humankind destiny controlled by an entity or transcendent law? Could it be the hand of God? One thing is true, every enemy, is fucking retarded.ā€

Can we fix Adon? Yeah. His father could be high rank and heā€™s forcing Adonā€™s presence. But even then there would be a line and Adon would have crossed it. He would be sacked!

ā€¦

Animation is weaker that I remember. Mouths just open and close like Pac-Man, is like theyā€™re not actually saying anything. Is weird.

The main trio is weaker as well. Guts is still decent, I guess, personality wise. Griffith is mediocre because his military side is garbage. The show does not earn the right to make you think heā€™s really smart. Heā€™s not. I donā€™t like any of them.

I do like Caska, tho, sheā€™s great. Thereā€™s nothing on her character that doesnā€™t work. The rest of the cast is forgettable.

I donā€™t like it anymore.

5/10.

Alaoz!


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A lazy walk.

Posted : 3 years, 11 months ago on 9 April 2020 02:28 (A review of The Long Walk)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.

Letā€™s ignore the mediocrity of this book just because King wrote it. Shall we?
Not even that. Apparently Bachman was his own person.
ThatĀ“s the best part of this book, by the way.

Doesnā€™t matter how weak is the characterization of this people. That we donā€™t get to know them that well as to care for them. That their stories are dull because teenagers arenā€™t that interesting. That the majority of them donā€™t have compelling reasons as to why participate in the walk. That they are very forgettable people.

One of the two that really have a strong reason, looks like a fucking idiot by doing this. The chances arenā€™t that great. He should have think this stuff better.

Why does the walk exist? Pure entertainment, I guess. Not a very good one at that. Is pretty worthless and the end. A waste of people. How many have won? The price is pretty big. I donā€™t think they can allow that. Is not a very sustainable thing. It is implied that probably all the winners die anyway. It does take a lot from you.

But if thatā€™s the case, I canā€™t see many people actually going to it when is practically impossible. Do they fake information? I mean, people go and watch this things, so maybe people are able to see the fishy parts. I donā€™t know, this world is no very well explain.

It feels like King just wanted to have this shit and thatā€™s pretty much it. Iā€™m not able to find reasons as to why the walk exist. Have you? Because ā€œIs fuck up entertainment, like gladiators and shitā€ is not good enough. Not to be a major premise.

Why do they have to be teenagers anyway? I canā€™t buy it. Donā€™t see many of them wanting to go to this shit. At least young adults, but no. Ok. Whatever.

Yeah, you like the theme? Is fine. I like it too, but, you know, I prefer if it was better done. But whatever.

I canā€™t even recommend it to people who like dystopia because is not very good at that.
Is a very shallow and boring one.

ā€¦ Yeah. I donā€™t like this.

5/10.

I feel Iā€™m being too hard, but the problems of the walk itself really annoys me.

The ending? Is ok. He went crazy. Cool.

The only reason the protagonist won is because is the protagonist. Not a fan of that. I donā€™t see any reason as to why he would endure more than the rest.
Heā€™s not particularly great or has a powerful reason.

Well... ThatĀ“s it.

Alaoz!


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Donā€™t do drugs.

Posted : 3 years, 12 months ago on 2 April 2020 03:08 (A review of Requiem for a Dream)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.

Originally writing in May 3, 2019.

I feel identified with this film. No, I have never done drugs. But my refrigerator also tried to kill me once. It went insane, pull out a gun and told me he will see me in hell, or something like that.
I escaped by pure luck.

Is a hard film. I got no problems with that, I have seen worst thingsā€¦ in my own house.
But is also a very simplistic movie, predictable and exaggerated. Very exaggerated.

Is the descent to hell for absolutely all of the characters. Is focused in seeing how these four people ruin their pathetic lives because of the drugs, and thatā€™s pretty much it. They just want to show suffering. And thatā€™s lazy.
It has sweet moments, but in comparison they are incredible small.

Is completely hopeless, and I donā€™t have that much problem with it, but they are better addict stories that are more complex and realistic, like Bubbles in The Wire. God, The Wire is so goodā€¦ Anyway.

Beyond the character of the mother, the best one, I have no fucking idea of why the rest of them got in to drugs. I can get an idea on Wayans, but, it needs more work. They are better options. I feel is a big deal to see how they got to that situation. I need to see it.

No, is not the dreams. They are other ways of opening a business. Harry seems sort of smart, he graduated from something. And if selling is what they wanted, why are they consuming? Thatā€™s the first rule, no tasting the product.
Wait, they were already consuming before taking that decision. What that hell?

Character work is alright. They at least have some level of personality, dreams and things they want to do. We do not know much about them beyond that, tho. Is not bad, but not great either.

The mother is awesome. Her character is really sad and realistic. That loneliness, feeling of abandonment, the television addiction, and the memory of old better times, is really hard and real. She, and only she, actually feels really human.

Visually, the movie is great. The directing reinforces what the characters are feeling. They are a lot of techniques. Acting is good. And the score is great. Beautiful. Lux Aeterna.

I donā€™t think is a bad movie, but not especial either. Is effective in what is looking for, not so much tho, because you canā€™t really emotionality connect with this people as is necessary. And what is looking for, is a low bar.

5/10.

SPOILERS.

The scene when Doctor Connors sees Harry fuck up arm, he calls the police BEFORE helping him. It makes no sense!
He goes to jail for a while until he finally receives some fucking medical attention. WTF
Harry should sued his ass! With that money he can maybe open that business.

Harry is a fucking idiot injecting in the same place even when it looks like shit. Nobody can be that stupid. But if he didnā€™t do that, he wouldnā€™t have lost his arm. And Aronofsky wanted to have his edgy finally, and logic wasnā€™t going to get in the way.

It makes no sense that there is a lack of drugs in New York.
Is the city that never sleeps for a reason.

Nobody notice that the mother is losing her fucking mind because of the drugs?

END OF SPOILER.

ThatĀ“s it.

Alaoz!


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Hollywood ruining my chinese drawings again.

Posted : 3 years, 12 months ago on 2 April 2020 02:13 (A review of Alita: Battle Angel)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.

Excuse my way of expressing. Is not pretty.

Originally writing in May 6, 2019.

What is this crap?
What were they thinking?
Why do so much people like it? I canā€™t understand it.

The movie is bad. Alita is done kinda competent, and just for that is not horrible.
And Iā€™m feeling nice.

They decided to adapt almost everything instead of just the first volume. Thatā€™s why they touch so many stuff and they never develop anything. And thatā€™s why nothing actually matters, because thereā€™s no worldbulding.
How I am supposed to care about anything, if nothing gets properly treated?
I donā€™t care about the characters. You know why? Because they transform all of them into clichĆ©s and they didnā€™t develop them.

I wasnā€™t going to say shit about it as an adaptation of one of the greatest mangas ever. I never really care much about that; the most important thing is to be good by itself. That changed when I saw people saying it was a good adaptation. Is not. Fuck, is not.

Apparently being a good adaptation is to replicate a couple of scenes from the manga or anime. I doesnā€™t matter that it is badly done, I doesnā€™t matter that they are action scenes and mostly superficial and without real weight. They look similar, thatĀ“s enough.

They destroyed the complicated characterization of the characters and they reduced the story into their most based and popcorn elements. How is that good adaptation? They spit into the manga eyes, and then they brutally raped it.

Gunnm is more that an action cyberpunk manga.

By itself is a bad film too. Is moves to fast, doesnā€™t go deeper into the ideas, and thatā€™s why thereā€™s no reason to care. You may care just because, but thereā€™s no reason to.

Characters are clichĆ©, uninspired, basic and boring. Theyā€™re shit. Just shit.
Is almost like the didnā€™t put any effort in to them.

It has the same problem as the manga, in there it was pretty thin, it had a deeper meaning, here is far, far worst. Gally is a cyborg, so she can reconstruct herself and be better, and thatā€™s why thereā€™s no tension. Nothing can actually happen to her.
Alita beats the shit out of everybody with easy, unlike the manga.

They are a lot of stupid thing in the film as well.

Romance, as usual, is crap. Alita is not an excuse. In the manga she falls in love easily too, but at least she gets to know the fuckers. Fuckers who were human and complex. The guy in this movie is garbage who doesnā€™t even has a real reason to go to the floating city.
Life down there seems to be okay, unlike the manga, in there, life in the earth was shit. Going up was obviously a good idea.
Here it feels empty.

They barely even spent time together. But they really, really love each other. Bullshit.

Guns are banned, apparently they are too dangerous. Weird, I thought having a metal powerful body was more fuck up.

Well. The film is bad. Is predictable, because it follows the type of storytelling that sells, just like Transformers movies and shit like that. Is generic, empty and all the words I use to describe bad anime.

Looks good? Yeah. But Iā€™m not impressed.
Is it fun? Maybe. I got really bored. And annoyed.

4/10.
Just because of Alita. Sheā€™s not Gally, tho. That woman is amazing.

Alaoz!

PD. Does she eats in the manga? Canā€™t remember. Her body is metal. It makes no sense.


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The best of the DCEU is a bad film. Go figure.

Posted : 4 years, 11 months ago on 28 April 2019 11:29 (A review of Wonder Woman)

English is not my native language so I apologize for the errors that are bound to exist.


Wonder Woman is still the best movie of the DC universe. Which is not saying much because they all suck.

This was originally written in November 26 of 2017. I just make some changes.


ā€¦


It doesnā€™t look horrible but it looks like PS2 graphics. Is just not that well made.


Careful with the green screen!


Slow motion scenes are overused and it donā€™t make sense that they used them when they did. It just looks silly.


The choreography is usually okay.


In general, it looks mediocre. Nothing impressive, nothing horrible, justā€¦ okay.


The plot is overly simplistic, just go kill the bad guy. Doesnā€™t construct anything, doesnā€™t try to go beyond, it stays in the comfort zone, and thatā€™s lazy. Is just lazy.Ā 

And commits one of the worst crimes, it has caricatures for villains. They are evil just because.Ā 
The general is just a cunt and he dies like a bitch. Heā€™s not scary, it doesnā€™t command respect, is not interesting at all.


What's the deal with the gas that makes him stronger? Why nobody else uses it?Ā 
I mean, that way it would be easy to win the war if he gives it to its soldiers. At least a little bit.Ā 
I guess it doesn't matter, doesn't work for him anyway. Diana kills him very easily. Boring.


At the end of the movie, Ares - who also sucks ā€“ dies and the Germans hug, they are no longer under the influence of Ares, they are good again. Because that is how shit goes down in wars.


The movie pisses in his own message, in the face, just like Germans like to do.


But is not a war movie right? It just has oneā€¦ Lazy.


The secondary characters are stereotypical, they help I guess, but they donā€™t really matter. If they die, who cares?


Diana is nice, and strong andā€¦ nice. She is very naĆÆve because of her upbringing and doesnā€™t learn shit about humanity nor develops as a person, she stays pretty much the same. She has some chemistry with her love interest whose name I donā€™t recall, is nice seeing them together. ThatĀ“s why the relationship is not force like a rape, but isnā€™t exactly good either. They are the best thing of the film and they are not good. The thing is, every other character is shit.


It has some funny moments and the fish out of water thing was okay.Ā 

The amazons are hot, they dress cool and they are a bunch of sexist, which I like in women.


This review is lazy, just like the movie.


This film s superficial. Is dumb. Is ridiculous and insulting.


4/10.


I believed in love!


Fuck you!


Ā Alaoz!



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